Friday, November 20, 2015

So much for "eldritch horror"!

Well, still behind (currently 31K), and the whole eldritch!evil!Narnia trip has turned into fluff central. Why why why... why did I do this to myself? I don't even like the Narnia books that much, nor the movies.

I think it has the most cringe-worthy bit of dialogue yet in my NaNos (and no, I'm not going to post it. It's really...gah! It's supposed to be embarrassing, but sheesh.)

Well, I suppose I post an excerpt or two every year. Here's my most recent bit of eldritch!evil!Narnia:

After lunch, Mr. Beaver cleared the table and did the washing up, while Mrs. Beaver sat with Zoe and poured cups of tea for them all. "Tea is the best thing to help the digestion, dear. Drink up."

Zoe took an obedient sip. "Thanks for supper."

"Lunch, dear," said Mrs. Beaver.

"What? Lunch? But --- " Zoe checked her watch. It still showed the same time as when she had last checked it at the music center. "Oh."

"Time runs in knots here," said Mrs. Beaver.

"'Here'? Where are we exactly? I know it's not really Narnia." Mr. Tumnus had never answered her properly about that.

"We're in the labyrinth, dear," said Mrs. Beaver. "Well, you are. I'm not really me. I'm more of a reflection. An image. A memory."

"What? How can you be here talking to me, then? And what about all that food?" It didn't make any more sense than her dream had. Less. "What labyrinth?"

"The labyrinth of Yrkth-Ughulyach, dear." Mrs. Beaver poured herself more tea.

"Yrkth-Ughulyach..." Zoe remembered that the faun had said this was his country. "But who is he? Is he... human?"

Mrs. Beaver burst out laughing. "Oh goodness me, no. Why would he be human? He is one of the architects of time. What people call an elder god, but that's only because mortal minds can't understand his name properly."

"But it's a 'he'?"

Mrs. Beaver shrugged. "By mortal tradition he is male, but only in the sense that he is a scatterer of seeds rather than a hatcher of eggs."

Zoe wasn't sure what sense that was, but it didn't sound like any god she had ever heard of before. Not that she knew them all, but she had studied Greek and Norse mythology in school, and this didn't sound like any of their gods. And the Bible only had the one God, who definitely wasn't named 'Yrkth-Ughulyach'. She wished she had managed to stay awake for Mr. Tumnus's explanations.

Thinking of the faun brought her anxiety back to the surface. "Ok, but what about Mr. Tumnus? There must be something we can do for him."

"Socks," said Mrs. Beaver. "Proper /wool/ socks."

"Huh?"

"You won't be able to do anything for anyone in your bare feet. We all need insulation against the ice," said Mrs. Beaver. She fetched a pair of gray socks and handed them to Zoe. "Put these on first. Then your shoes."

Clearly, it's all about the wool sock agenda. Also I can now type "Yrkth-Ughulyach" without resorting to cut-n-paste. Go me!

Wear wool socks and worship the elder gods!

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