Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The birds know too much...

They sent the hawks to watch me today. "Fear! Feeee-aar!" they say, but I know better than to listen. They know the serpents came to me in a dream last night and suspect the worst:

I now have access to the secret alphabet!

But they are wrong. It's not the alphabet that is secret, it's the punctuation. The parrots can recite from the spellbooks until Doomsday, thinking it's only their pronunciation holding them back. No. Without the correct punctuation, all they have is a big ugly string. The spell will never be an executable.

Ha ha! So turn the trees against me if you like, let the potatoes infiltrate the apples, and let the tomatoes turn traitor, none of that matters anymore.

I have the secret punctuation now.

Remember. The magic is in the punctuation!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Tentacle fail...

Great Kroll forgive me, it's just not working. How the heck does a land-based creature manage all those tentacles? Like a bad hair day, only a thousand times worse! Here I am trying to walk down the street without tripping over them...um. And I used to think making a winged (human-sized) humanoid was difficult. Yes, yes, these are magic tentacles. They only interact with physical reality when convenient. But what kind of lame magic power is "convenience"?! I haven't even got to the rape part of "tentacle rape"! Grrr!

Why did I think I wanted to use some kind of sex magic in the story!?! Gah! I blame it on Gilgamesh. Well, Shamhat. Priestess of Ishtar with her love powers that transformed Enkidu. Why why why!? I guess it was inevitable once I named my city "New Babylon". But then why mash it up into the Church? Now it's not just one hot priestess out in the wilds, but we have a whole bloody song and dance with chanting and robes and everything! D'oh!

...but damn it, tentacles! Must do the tentacles! Some people use them to cheat at cards. My character will use them to...er...become an origami expert? A one-woman chamber orchestra? It's a pity she's not musical. Hrmph. I'll just set their reality quotient low enough that we can ignore them most of the time.

Anyway. I give up on attempting to make it seem reasonable and coherent. From now on, I wade into the stream of consciousness and follow the fish of destiny! As long as I finish before November.