Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bad writer. No books!

Gah, this is getting out of hand. I've been on an amazon/ebay shopping spree lately. But not writing. So! Listen, you. You've exceeded your monthly media quota! No books, no audios, no DVDs, no games, no youtube, no trips to the library, until you finish this story! Come on, how hard can it be? A thousand words here, a thousand words there, and you're done. Just remember, it's not the zombies you have to worry about, it's the ghouls. Look, don't you want to write the next episode? Hmm? Isn't that the one with fireball boy who happens to be the lost heir in that idiotic prophecy written by the psychic geese? What ARE the psychic geese up to? If you don't finish story #3 and move on, you'll never know! Are the psychic geese connected to the green birds? The crows who run the traffic lights? The bridge to nowhere? Are they conspiring with the centipedes who steal your toes? The timelooped dead mice?

Um. You do realize you aren't making any sense?

Of course not. This is called procrastination through random babble.

The point is, don't you dare order/buy anything until you finish the story (first draft, anyway.)

Grah. All right, all right. I won't. Sheesh.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Reduce, re-use, recycle...

...your use of silly pretentious unpronounceable alien/fantasy/Darkity-dark names. Hmm? That, or my random name generator is made of fail. I used to compile lists of potential names for my characters, but I haven't done that in awhile, so I've been recycling old ones.

As a side-effect, I find that when I re-use a name, the old character seems to haunt it, which these days is appropriate enough as I'm writing about sorcerously reincarnated ghosts. Here we have "Jack Yarrow", who committed suicide by bat swarm. Well, it was only an OOC suicide. ICly, he got killed by a vampire (played by a friend of mine). Must watch out for similarly absurd suicidal tendencies by my current "Jack Yarrow" character. He does something insanely reckless at least twice per story so far.

And then there's Acharne. The original Acharne was an evil yet health-conscious vampire dude who ran a supermarket. He had a "healthy eaters club" or something, to ensure himself a steady supply of "organic" blood. This is called "pre-loading", where you make sure your food animals are well-fed before YOU eat them. As I recall, this is the same supermarket with the talking shopping carts...I think the vampires used to race the carts, possibly with partners sitting inside holding long wooden stakes to stab each other with. Good times. Snipers in the parking lot! Nosy priests! The place got blown up eventually (probably Acharne got blown up with it) and I replaced it with a ranch with my other vampire character. Until she accidentally crashed an airplane into it (Hurray for botched piloting rolls...) Ended up building a casino. Complete with a virtual slot machine! With imaginary profits! I had to do that to make up for the time I accidentally deleted the virtual object on which I had stored all our savings (and guns! I think I lost some gun objects too. D'oh.) Made up some IC excuse about "bad investments" in some company purporting to have invented teleporters. Whatever! I mean, this was a world where TVs coincidentally explode, killing everyone. Or you "coincidentally" get electrocuted by a doorknob. Death to mages! Rar!

So my current Acharne is a duke of Hell. The Librarian! Maybe he does a lot of social work, promoting literacy and so on. Reads the Necronomicon to school kids! Whee! I need him to do some more evil things besides randomly appearing and smirking. So far the purported "good guys" have done a lot more damage than he has. Two genocides (alien races) and millions of humans condemned to death by zombie.

Anyway. Just trying to provoke myself to go work on the story. (Salt Gang Chronicles #3: Zombie Soup).

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I hope that's not a critique of my writing...

So it's spring break...which means that while some of us choose to sleep in (me and my older daughter), others of us choose to get up EARLIER than normal. And then parade around the hallway outside my room belting out "BAD BAD BAD - BAD BAD BAD - BAD BAD BAD - BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD..." to the tune of the "Can-can"...

Well, it's nice to have that much energy. And it's good the two younger kids can play together so enthusiastically (when they're not squabbling). I'll try to drag everyone out to the park (or somewhere) after lunch. Lovely weather today. Tomorrow I'm hoping to take them on the "fun" part of the Billy Goat Trail. My youngest is almost five this time, so maybe she won't need as many "Mommy teleports" as she did when she was 2-3.

Oh yeah, this is supposed to be my writing blog. Ha ha ha ha ha! Haven't done any. I was distracted conquering the world with my army of ulfsarks and hersirs. Loki rules! Love "Age of Mythology." I can hear my son playing it right now. He's singing "I will win" and "die!" to the theme music. Well, actually he googled for the cheat codes and mostly destroys the Cyclops army with his horde of laser bears and flying purple hippos. The exploding chicken cheat ("bawk bawk boom"!) while amusing, isn't very practical. Awesome game, hysterically funny cheats, plus an "out-take" hidden somewhere on the disk... As I say, this is me, not writing...

Saturday, April 4, 2009


Bah! No wonder I'm having trouble with my current story (Salt Gang Chronicles #3: Zombie Soup (working title)). My "guest" POV character has none. Flat as the half-drunk cans of Sprite that have been sitting on the garage steps for the past week. (I really should get rid of those.) And it seems another character is actually telling her the story. At least for the first half. I'm not sure if that's going to work out, but it's the only way I can convince myself to write it at all. I'm also cheating by skipping over huge swaths of death and destruction and angst to...I dunno, some smaller and more manageable bit of death and destruction and angst.

Haven't got much writing done. Last Saturday was the National Kite Festival. We went...destroyed two of our kites within the first half hour. Well, it was very wet and mizzly. Mud mud mud. And I'd made most of the kites out of tissue paper! Tissue paper, meet water. Good bye! Still, we did get a couple of hours of "clear" weather, with a decent wind. The place wasn't nearly as crowded as last year, which had been on a sunny day (didn't even get close to the official Kite Festival pavilions that time). Saw some cherry trees in the Tidal we drove by...looking for parking... Anyway. My one waterproof kite (a delta made out of a recycled Borders Books bag) was flawed in its design and never achieved stable flight. One of the tissue paper kites just went shooting up. A simple "paper airplane" design (so it had a keel) with a flimsy frame. Must remember that one. And the one I flew in the official "competition" thingy (just to say that I had) was the usual foil gift-wrap diamond wimpified fighter-style kite (with pieces of cane for the frame) held together by sticky tape. That one flew like a charm. Too bad it was small and invisible once it went up in the sky. So we'll try taking them out again sometime this week. Spring break and all that. so much. Did a little bit today. Hopefully more tomorrow. Maybe I can make it to the write-in.